BALDY BESTIARY™ CREATURE QUIZ

 

Which Baldy Bestiary™ Creature Are You?
Answer 5 questions. Discover your creature. Become unforgettable. 
Write down your letters. Count your most common letter. That’s your creature.
Scoring:
Mostly A’s = 🕷️ Hairy Tarantula
Mostly B’s = 🦔 Angry Porcupine
Mostly C’s = 🐇 Dust Bunny
Mostly D’s = 🦶 Crabby Sasquatch
Mostly E’s = 🦝 Raccoon
Mostly F’s = 🦬 Wild Buffalo


Q1: Your ideal first impression is…
A) Fear + respect
B) Do not touch me
C) Friendly confusion
D) “Wait… what is that?”
E) Immediate laughter
F) Total dominance

Q2: Your personality style is best described as…
A) Chaotic confident
B) Tough but lovable
C) Soft chaos
D) Rugged mystery
E) Mischief with charm
F) Bold and unstoppable

Q3: Your preferred reaction from strangers is…
A) gasping
B) backing away slightly
C) “I can’t stop laughing”
D) “I… have questions.”
E) “That’s ridiculous. I love it.”
F) stunned silence

Q4: Your bald spot deserves to be…
A) dangerous
B) protected by spikes
C) lightly mocked and adored
D) mythological
E) a comedic masterpiece
F) respected like a king

Q5: Most likely to say…
A) “Don’t worry, he’s friendly.” (he isn’t)
B) “Touch it and find out.”
C) “I woke up like this.”
D) “You didn’t see anything.”
E) “This was my wife’s idea.”
F) “Move.”

RESULTS  -  Which creature suits your crown best?
🕷️ HAIRY TARANTULA
“Approach with caution.”
You don’t do subtle. You do legendary. You enjoy reactions and eye contact.
Button: SHOP TARANTULA

🦔 ANGRY PORCUPINE
“Touch at your own risk.”
You’ve got boundaries, style, and an energy that says “not today.”
Button: SHOP PORCUPINE

🐇 DUST BUNNY
“It was here when we moved in.”
You’re lovable. You’re low drama. You’re the king of harmless chaos.
Button: SHOP DUST BUNNY

🦶 CRABBY SASQUATCH
“Legend confirmed.”
Mysterious. Unbothered. Thrives in the shadows and enjoys confusing people.
Button: SHOP SASQUATCH

🦝 RACCOON
“Trashy… but in a charming way.”
You are mischief. You are joy. You are snacks and confidence.
Button: SHOP RACCOON

🦬 WILD BUFFALO
“Stampede mode.”
You’re strong, bold, and you walk like theme music follows you.
Button: SHOP BUFFALO

Want 'em all?
Some men choose one creature.
Some men choose chaos.
SHOP COLLECTOR’S BUNDLE